Thoughts on colonialism, slavery and culture

This is a picture I took in Amsterdam on the square where you can find the big Multatuli statue. I spend the day cycling through Amsterdam, prayerfully wandering through the red light district and took a few minutes to sit on this square and think about colonialism, slavery and culture. Big thoughts for an ordinary day, I know.

I remember reading Multatuli's book 'Max Havelaar' while I was studying Dutch literature at University in South Africa. The book is one of the first to address the injustice that happened hand in hand with the Dutch colonisation  of the West Indies, and it shares the story of those people who were enslaved to work on coffee plantations.

The Dutch not only colonised the West Indies, but also were the ones to invade New York and named it New Amsterdam. They build a wall to separate the indigenous American tribes from themselves, which happens to be where Wall Street stands today. This is a whole other story.

And then in 1652 the Dutch left the shores of Holland once again and sailed to South Africa. Here they set up a half-way post to the West Indies and managed to bring Europe to Africa and import the West Indies and Malaysia to Africa. Colonialism brought a lot of hurt and pain to a lot of places. I can still see Africa healing in the shadow of many European nations' footprints. But colonialism also brought a lot of good things. At least I can say that about South Africa. Some of the most beautiful areas in South Africa are painted with amazing old Dutch buildings. The language I grew up in is a simplified version of Dutch and a language I very much love. And then there's the variety of culture that now is the Rainbow Nation of South Africa. We have 11 official languages, even more cultures and tribes, and our cuisine is infused with different flavours and smells. Today South Africa rises beautifully out of our rich and painful past. It shines bright in diversity and is rich in cultures and color. I love this about my nation.

But as I was sitting on this square and thinking I was letting my thoughts drift to modern day slavery. I was asking God how He feels about it, and what He dreams about it. The answer was beautiful and pure. It came from Genesis and was telling a story of God and man and creation, all living in perfect harmony in a garden green and growing. The answer is people saved out of slavery, but brought into harmony with one another and into community with God Himself. The answer is not just about rescue, but about restoration and redemption of all relationships. This gave me hope for the faces I saw in the streets in Amsterdam, it gave me hope for the friends I have in Boys Town, it gave me hope for my own family, knowing there's a Redeemer who brings beauty out of the ashes.

Why tears flow from our eyes

Have you ever wondered why tears flow from your eyes?

(P.S. I remember someone either talking or writing about this the other day...but can't remember where/who!) 

Why don't they secretly flow from the back of your knees, down your calves to your ankles? Or from underneath your arms, down your back all the way to your hips? Tears are meant to be shared, from one pair of eyes to the other. You're not supposed to cry by yourself. Someone needs to see and share in those tears.

The other day I was sitting with a friend from Boys Town. She was retelling the story of her life to me and a friend. It got pretty intense and we had to stop, to allow the tears to flow from her eyes, and from ours. It was a quiet, sweet moment. Nobody said anything, but we just sat for a moment and shared in her suffering, gently wiping the tears from our cheeks.

As christians we're not primarily called to be happy, to be answer-givers or to fix things. We're called to follow Jesus and sometimes that means following Him in his sufferings and pain. Like Paul we desire to know Christ, the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and somehow (this is the beautiful mystery of the gospel) , to attain to the resurrection from the dead. This moment in Boys Town reminded me of this passage in Philippians 3. That we're also called to share in each other's sufferings and pain, and to see it as valuable and meaningful.

I was happy as I saw these tears flow from my friend's eyes. It tells me her heart is alive and that she's not okay with the things that happened in her life. Her tears tells me that she's yearning for something different, somehow better, for whole, restored and loving relationships. Her tears are meaningful, acknowledging the wrong and remembering the pain that helped shaped her. Somehow the suffering in her life produced a hope in her heart that life can be different and better, and for now the 'better' is being in Boys Town, having a bed to sleep in, food to eat, friends who care and an income. 

In Romans Paul tells us that we can rejoice in sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character hope. And that hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love in our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.

So my prayer is that God would continue to pour out His love in our hearts and the hearts of our friends in Boys Town, that we will continue to share in the sufferings of our friends without loosing sight of the hope that's so closely linked with this suffering. 

the longing in my heart

There is a deep dissatisfaction in my heart tonight. 

I feel dissatisfied and sometimes even deeply frustrated when I see the several ways in which Christ has become a misrepresented entity in Reynosa. I feel torn and my heart wells up with tears over countless stories I hear about christianity in Mexico. 

From people who claim to be christians but worship the dead, to other christians who go into Boys Town to tell our friends they're going to hell, and even told our one friend the other day she was getting too fat! Other churches offer prosperity, health and even golden teeth. I don't know what to do with these stories! I don't want to curse these people and places, but I don't want to align or even associate myself with them. Saying you're 'christian' in Reynosa often ring some negative bells. 

I need a new language!

I see dead bones, dry bones and misshaped bones. I know that only God's Spirit can bring life to these bones. This longing for Christ to be represented truthfully burns within my heart. I long for friends to gather together to worship Him in spirit and in truth. I long for the church, us, to make known the manifold wisdom of God, to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms. I long for good and deep friendships here in Reynosa, for God to add people to our community, and for Him to be represented in our longings for His kingdom to come.

So I simply pray that our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father may give us the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that we may know Him better. I pray also that the eyes of our hearts may be enlightened in order that we may know the hope to which He has called us, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparably great power for us who believe.

learning with laughter

It's like I'm 4 all over again: curious, courageous and often somewhat foolish.

I'm exploring, seeking, looking and adventuring through language and culture with eyes wide open.

I’m learning from the people I meet. My Mexican mom in Mexico City showed me the way to walk to my language school. She also taught me how to make real Mexican salsa and her generosity inspired me to live more generously.

My Spanish teacher have taught me verbs in every possible tense. 

Lists and lists of them. He also taught me a lot about Mexican culture.

I learn a lot from my friends in Boys Town. Sometimes they teach me words in Spanish which I know I should rather not repeat, but mostly they teach me beautiful things. They often teach me about the value of friendship and care. Some of them have been friends for over 20 years and they care deeply about one another, through all the good and bad, sickness and health. They teach me about hope in the midst of despair.

I’ve been captured by this country, the people, the culture and the beauty I see in so many things. So many people think of Reynosa as the pit of the world. Well, to be honest it’s not exactly breath-taking, but there’s a beauty that lies deeply hidden beneath the dust, concrete and trash.

So many small experiences have led me to worship God in everyday life in these last few months. I’ve felt just as connected to God in the overcrowded metro with Michael Jackson screaming in the background, as I have on horseback in the quiet mountains of Real de Catorce. I feel like a young child exploring, enjoying and having a great lot of fun as I venture through this country. There’s times when I fall down and hit my knees against the ground, but I get up and I keep on running, cleaning the dust of my shoes.

I’m learning that God desires for me to worship and love Him above all other things in life. I’m learning how to do that in a country that’s not my own, and in a place where I long to see more people step into that place of worship. I’m learning how to worship in a different language, with new friends,and in very ordinary things. I'm learning to love God with all my heart, mind, soul and strength. To do that as I’m singing, eating, walking, sharing, running, falling, crying, praying and playing. 

This is a little home-made attempt at a movie to share some of Mexico with you:

I am mad, but not without hope

I am sitting in a room with about 30 Mexican women. We are on the top of a mountain, in Santo Thomas Ajusco, just outside of Mexico City. You can only hear the birds and the wind as it blows through the pine trees. It is cool on the mountain, I need to wear a cardigan, for the first time in a few weeks. We’re far away from the hustle and bustle of the city that never sleeps. It’s truly a breath of fresh air.

 

However, we’re talking about a whole lot of issues that makes me really mad. These woman tell me that 9 out of 10 families in Mexico suffer violence within the family.

At first I think ‘this can’t be true’. But as I listen to the various stories and see eyes well up with tears I know that this is true for many women in the room today. The Mexican government released a  guide on how to recognize and deal with family violence and together we discuss this.

A lady tells me how her husband left when she and her daughter became Christians. She said she is lucky, because in some smaller Mexican towns Christians are being persecuted by the Catholic communities and family. Her church has been helping friends in Chiapas as the entire Christian community has been forced out by the Catholics. They are forced to leave their homes. This is something I find hard to understand because I know some very loving Catholic believers and didn’t realise that Christians are being persecuted in Mexico.

I’m learning a lot as I listen to these women.

We talk about cycles of abuse and why women stay in these cycles. 

It reminds me of some of the stories I’ve heard in Boys Town: ‘But he loves me’ or ‘he will change’.

Some things holds the promise of life but ultimately brings death. I’ve seen it so many times.

I’ve seen how alcohol and drugs destroys lives. How it sweetly promises life but digs a big black hole. It makes me mad to see the destruction of the enemy and see how the thief is stealing away life in so many different ways. 

I’m mad, but I’m not without hope. 

And that is what I share with these woman, Hope. 

Hope and a knowledge that things can change and that there is life, even within the times of suffering.

Hope is groaning within me as I listen and pray and talk. I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height or depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  

There's a hopelessness that lingers in Boys Town at the moment. It hangs like a cloud over the lives of our friends. Some days you can tangibly feel it. My prayer is that the love of God would break through this hopelessness. I fight for this hope to rise up and establish itself in the midst of ashes. I fight for this hope to grow in my own heart. I fight for it in prayer, in love and often with tears. I am convinced that this love will bring life and hope to Boys Town, and that’s why I’m here in Mexico. 

Join me in this fight for HOPE.

Such wonderful hospitality

She opened the suitcase on the table. It was filled with photos and she began to share some stories as we watched the different memories captured in (some faded) colours. 

Her first communion as a little girl, her wedding day, her son's 5 year-old cowboy birthday party. 

We're in Tampico. 

The city where our friend grew up. 

We helped her move out of Boys Town and back to her family.

It was beautiful to see her excitement as she hugged her 18- year old son as we arrived in Tampico after a 7-hour bus journey.

He later showed me a tatoo on his back. 

It's his mom's name and he got it last year as a Mother's Day present.

I love how the Mexican culture values family and hospitality.

How they spend hours around the table; talking, eating, laughing, sharing.

Our friend introduced us to her whole extended family, at least the ones that live in Tampico. We met her son, her sisters, nieces and nephews. They took us on tour through Tampico; downtown, past the fishmarket to the beach where we saw some dolphins, to the lagoon where we watched the crocodiles and to a lovely little icecream shop we we ate cheese and corn flavoured icecream, a real cullinary experience.

Her mom also invited us to her house and cooked us a lovely seafood meal. Soup with crab (yes it had a real full crab in the soup!) , shrimp with salsa and battered fish with rice. 

She welcomed us into her house like we're her own children. I even took a little siesta on the sofa in the roaring heat of the day and she adjusted the fan to blow some more cold air on me as I snoozed away.  It was a delightful day filled with Mexican hospitality. 

I feel honoured that I was able to share in this part of our friends' journey and pleased that she decided to be back with her family. I pray that her decision to leave Boys Town will draw her deeper into the love of the Father.

We took some photos with her and her family while in Tampico and I hope that in 30 years time she'll sit around her table sharing these stories and photos with others who will cross her way.

Wedding, pancakes and sunshine

April has been a month of wedding-bliss, pancakes and sunshine.

I've had more pancakes this month than I did in the entire two years I lived in England, enjoyed more sunny days and had more people smiling at me and asking me how I'm doing! 

I've done a lot of travelling since I arrived in Mexico at the beginning of this month. Me and my two good friends Jo and Emily took a roadtrip from Reynosa, through the never-ending Texas all the way to Tulsa, via Kansas City. 

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That's a lot of driving, stopping, eating, talking, singing. 

I love how travelling gives me time to think, process and pray. 

I don't like how my body aches from days in a car and how eating fast food numbs my appetite.

In the midst of all the travelling my mind has been wandering back to my good friends in England who I dearly miss. I've also been thinking about my family in South Africa and the recent elections that's stirring the country that I love. At the same time I've been praying for Mexico and been preparing for my next two months in the recent flu-infected capitol where at least 60 people have died in the last few days.

With all this going on in my head, my heart has been meditating on Psalm 63:

O God, you are my God, 

       earnestly I seek you; 
       my soul thirsts for you, 
       my body longs for you, 
       in a dry and weary land 
       where there is no water.

 ² I have seen you in the sanctuary 
       and beheld your power and your glory.

 ³ Because your love is better than life, 
       my lips will glorify you.

 ⁴ I will praise you as long as I live, 
       and in your name I will lift up my hands.

 ⁵ My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; 
       with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

 ⁶ On my bed I remember you; 
       I think of you through the watches of the night.

 ⁷ Because you are my help, 
       I sing in the shadow of your wings.

 ⁸ My soul clings to you; 
       your right hand upholds me.

 ⁹ They who seek my life will be destroyed; 
       they will go down to the depths of the earth.

 ¹⁰ They will be given over to the sword 
       and become food for jackals.

 ¹¹ But the king will rejoice in God; 
       all who swear by God's name will praise him, 
       while the mouths of liars will be silenced.